faith-walk

I have written a little about the effect a beautiful little girl named Quinlan had on her mother Kristin, and on others. I have seen a pretty, headstrong young woman turn into an incredibly beautiful Christian woman and mother.

But it is only a tiny part of the story.

Quinlan’s short life was not an easy one. It was a life marked by frequent seizures and other problems. Kristin’s life as a mother was also not an easy one. Other children could play and chatter and run. Quinlan could not. Kristin had to carry her, feed her, change her, hold her. Did she want her little girl healed? Of course she did! Countless prayers were prayed for healing. There was the laying on of hands. Yet in the world’s eyes, Quinlan was not healed.

But what about God’s eyes? I believe that His eyes were full of love and joy as He watched His beautiful creation touch so many lives. He used Quinlan to mold a woman whose heart is totally for Him, whose eyes are focused on Him. Heal her? What was there to heal? She was already perfect!

Now Quinlan is joyfully dancing in heaven, singing praise, basking in love and joy.

So what is to be learned from the story of Quinlan?

I know what it is like to lose a child. In June it will be 4 years since our Karen went to live with Jesus. I know the pain, the hole in the heart that nothing and nobody can fill. I share the joyful knowledge that Karen is in heaven, for she was a mighty woman of God.

Oh, the times have been hard! I have been so very angry at God for taking my child, for taking the mother of two of my grandchildren, for taking my friend.

Yet our Karen lived a full life. She grew up, married, had two beautiful children. Kristin, on the other hand, never heard her only child say the word “Mommy” or tell her, “I love you.”

My anger is gone. Vanished during a cold North Carolina morning as little Quinlan was laid to rest. Yes, I still miss Karen. I doubt that will change much. But I can rejoice in the memories, be thankful that she lived a full life, rejoice in ALL my children. (That has never changed — my children are my joy!) I rejoice that I have three children and three grandchildren still here on earth. I rejoice that I am married to a wonderful Christian man whom I love and who loves me back.

So what is the lesson of Quinlan? I believe it is to learn to look around and rejoice, to lean on the Lord and rejoice, to count my blessings and rejoice. And to think of Quinlan and Kristin — and rejoice!